Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
