Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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