WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
