we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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