he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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