if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
