More tranny stories later!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
