i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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