Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
