I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
