I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
