he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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