he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize