The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
