Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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