I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
tell your sister to shave her snatch
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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