i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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