If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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