My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
