____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
