we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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