I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
