If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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