I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize