so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize