their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
