the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
How external is "for external use only"?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
