I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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