I think I died a long time ago.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
