So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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