i think my mom watched the whole time
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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