Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
