Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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