i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
