So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
