SEEEEXXX PLEASE
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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