U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
