roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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