Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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