i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
