I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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