my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
