she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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