pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
