a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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