Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Randomize
