hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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