I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
