Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
