its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Actions speak louder than pants.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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