This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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