I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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