It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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