From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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