He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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