Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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